i'm now suffering from the mood disease, depression. well i kinda got an idea of what it's like when i was with the OO in tekong. yeah, of all the mother fucking diseases to be inflicted with, depression the mood disease is by far one of the worst. for one, from what i know it is not cured easily or rather at all for that matter. it drains you of whatever life you have left. in the process it empties your soul. any benefits? yeps, you get a miserable but "experienced" outlook at the world.
geez what a surprise i managed to last this long and survived till today. and i mean it ......
sometimes i pity the guys who get life imprisonment, they should have been killed and have gotten it over with long before they start to rot slowly in a prison cell. i know the feeling, i have no idea how long i will be in this prison cell of a mind of mine, or rather if i can even get out of it.
of course nowadays i get frequent bouts of depression as well as real severe mood swings. i dun know how much longer i can keep these in control before i snap again. i really don't know.
maybe i should just leave the air force and go back to the army, where at least i can get to hold a weapon and hopefully do some damage with it. i think it is so much better, than being confronted by something that you are good at and hate for 2 years. i think i need this kind of break, at least it helps a lot more.... or so i hope