haiz, i just wish that sometimes someone would just tie me up in a burlap bag and beat me with reeds. stupidity seems to be one infectios disease that seems to plague my pathetic little mind. i just want to flush out of my system all these fucked up feelings of hate confusion and distrust. right now, i'm so unstable to the point where a single word gone wrong can mess up my mind so totally and completely. why am i like this? deprived of poonani? no, not that i know of. geez i just wish that i can wish all these hard horrible feelings away. but i can't i must deal with them i must go on living with them. i must attempt to control them. who knows? maybe later i think i might just have the cure and the cause for these feelings again later. who knows? who knows? who really knows?